How To Be Your Own Hype Woman
Do us a favor. Write down 3 things that you kicked butt at recently. Maybe you surpassed last quarter’s sales numbers or came up with a new marketing plan or secured a new investor. Awesome! Now, say those three things out loud. Does that feel a little weird or uncomfortable? Now what about sharing these wins with co-workers, or even more so your boss or board? Does your pulse race and your stomach churn at the thought of “bragging” about yourself?
Hard Stop.
Self-promotion is not bragging. It is a critical factor to success for women in business.
No matter what you do—sales, social, innovation, writing, etc—it’s an important part of your job to report good work to those around you and those invested in you or your company. We often think that those around us know what we do and what we’ve accomplished. But that’s not true. Everyone is focused on their own work and their own challenges. Self-promotion not only showcases your skill set and successes, but it also inspires others to do their work better and share their own wins—making you a better colleague, manager, and leader.
But why is it so hard for us, as women in business, to “brag” about ourselves? We gush about our kids to anyone who listens (first steps, first day of school, soccer goals, etc). We celebrate our partners’ achievements at work. Even at the office, we often use the non-offensive “WE” to share good news rather than the “I”— WE secured a new client, WE sold out in the first week, etc. And yes, we should acknowledge and thank the team members that played a role in the win, but more often than not, our own impact is dulled and muted by our own volition.
Not surprisingly, men do not share our hesitation when it comes to self-promotion. A new study on gender gap and self-promotion suggests men are far more at ease with self-promotion than women, which contributes to a broad disparity in promotions and pay. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, women consistently rated their performance on a test lower than did men, even though both groups had the same average score. Where men on average gave themselves a 61 out of 100, women gave themselves a 46 out of 100. Even when told that an employer would use their self-evaluation to decide whether to hire them and what to pay them, women still self-promoted less than men. These findings are worrisome because they indicate an inherent unfairness in how women may be perceived in the labor market. The impact of this is very evident:
In Fortune 500 firms, 15% of senior leaders and 3% of CEOs are women.
Only about 10% of women-owned firms receive equity capital
Elected officials are overwhelmingly male (from local to national)
The tendency for women to undervalue and under-promote themselves makes it more difficult to achieve workplace parity, close the gender gap, and earn rightfully deserved promotions and raises.
So what’s the hold up around self-promotion for women?
Societal Conditioning: Women often feel uncomfortable speaking to their accomplishments because of our culture that rewards women for being submissive, quiet, modest and humble, and acting like ladies or “good girls”; while men are expected to take risks and be assertive, according to Jessi Smith, professor of psychology at Montana State University. This creates an internal dilemma for women: self-advocate and risk being judged for lacking social skills, or fail to self-advocate and risk being overlooked.
Belief that Accomplishments Speak for Themselves: As mentioned previously, at some point we find it easier to assume that others know our successes. Whether we put it on a resumé or have it written up in a company newsletter, it’s easier (aka more comfortable for us) to think that’s enough to be noticed in an interview or organization. We never bring it up. We never actually verbalize what we did. Unfortunately, that’s simply not enough.
Imposter Syndrome: As written in our blog on overcoming imposter syndrome, up to 75% of female professionals tend to experience imposter syndrome. Meaning that women in business are not just overcoming external challenges at work, but fighting internal battles as well—feelings of fraud and inadequacy when it comes to our expertise and skill set. How can we possibly be expected to share our successes if we don’t feel worthy of the recognition?
Whatever the reason is for lack of self-promotion, the simple truth is that in order to get ahead, we women need to do it. And by “it” we mean we need to be our own Hype Woman, if you will. If we want a raise or a promotion— we need to ask for it. If we want to get noticed, get the deal signed, or secure an investor—we need to own our success story, and more importantly, speak to it.
So how exactly do you become the powerful Hype Woman that you imagine yourself to be? The one that speaks confidently to the interviewer or boss or even a room full of strangers on all your accomplishments? It takes practice of course.
It doesn’t have to happen overnight, but you can take small steps every single day to build your “Hype” super powers. Here are the do’s and don’t of being your own Hype Woman:
Do Use “I”Statements
Own your impact by using “I” to describe how you helped with a success while using the term “the team” to describe how the team contributed to a project’s success. This helps others understand the value you bring to the table.
Don’t Brush Off Compliments
Say thank you and acknowledge your accomplishments confidently.
Don’t Be Self-Deprecating!
When you put yourself down- even jokingly- and diminish your accomplishments others will do the same. You may think you’re communicating your embarrassment, but what you’re actually saying is, “This isn’t important to me…and it shouldn’t be to you either.
Do use Enabling Language and Tone
Use words that promote an image of confidence not diffidence. Describe who you are and what you do in a compelling way. You can be authentic and impactful by using words skillfully.
Don’t Shy Away From Visibility
Take on challenging work assignments that match your skill set. Volunteer for high-visibility projects. Seek opportunities to interact with senior management in situations that showcase your strengths. Don’t sit in the back of the room. Be seen. Be heard.
Do connect to Purpose and Value
Find the why in what you’re doing. If you believe your work is important and worthwhile, you’re more likely to share it and mention its impact.
Don’t be Someone You’re Not
Backup your claims with real accomplishments, skills, experience, or knowledge that deserve recognition and acknowledgment. Be realistic about challenges and opportunities. By being authentic and honest, you build trust of those around you. You are then able to inspire others to engage in your work and bring them along the journey of your success.