Walk the Walk: How to Beat Imposter Syndrome

“You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“How did you even get this job?”

“What made you think you could do this?”

“Everyone knows you are a total fraud. Everyone. They’re all talking about you behind your back.”

WOW. We would never put up with someone talking to us like that! Right?! Except, that many of us actually do put up with it— when that someone is YOU talking to YOURSELF. 

These thoughts and feelings of perceived fraudulence, self-doubt and incompetence are known as Imposter Syndrome: the belief that you are inadequate and an incompetent failure despite evidence that you are in fact talented, skilled and successful.  

If you’ve ever experienced these feelings of self-doubt, you are not alone. A 2021 study by InnovativeMR found that around 65% of working professionals today are dealing with Imposter Syndrome. It can happen in various areas of life (such as motherhood, for example), but it’s particularly prevalent in the workforce. 

Interestingly, early research in the 1970s exploring this psychological phenomenon primarily focused on accomplished and successful women.

And while it is now clear that imposter syndrome can affect anyone in any profession, “women (particularly women of color) as well as the LGBTQ community are most at risk,” says Brian Daniel Norton, a psychotherapist and executive coach in New York. “When you experience systemic oppression or are directly or indirectly told your whole life that you are less-than or undeserving of success and you begin to achieve things in a way that goes against a long-standing narrative in the mind, imposter syndrome will occur.” The low representation of women and minorities in corporate America can lead to low confidence, a lack of peer support, and a feeling of not belonging—all of these factors can contribute to Imposter Syndrome.

According to KPMG's Advancing the Future of Women in Business Summit Report, Imposter Syndrome is one of the least talked about, yet most prevalent issues facing female professionals today:

• 50% of Imposter Syndrome sufferers are working moms, but still have a higher focus on work than personal life due to feelings of guilt.

• 75% of female executives surveyed reported experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

• 85% of women have not spoken to someone at work about their struggles, for fear of being seen as weak.

• Less than 5% of employers directly address Imposter Syndrome with their staff.

As working moms, we already have so much on our plates, not the least of which is the pressure to be perfect—the perfect mom, the perfect partner, and the perfect professional—24/7. So what happens when doubt starts creeping in? You start thinking that you are not as good as your colleagues? Or that it’s by pure luck that you have this job? Any recognition you earn, you call it sympathy or pity. Despite linking your accomplishments to chance, you take on all the blame for any mistakes you make. You work more. You work harder. But it is not enough.

Over time, this can fuel a cycle of anxiety, depression, and guilt. You will burn out.  The facade will undoubtedly crack. 

The good news is that you can beat Imposter Syndrome, with a little help. Here are 4 tips to get you on the right track:

1. Talk to Your Colleagues

Talking to colleagues can be a game changer for helping you overcome Imposter Syndrome. Trusted colleagues can provide supportive, honest and encouraging feedback. Additionally, by opening up to peers about how you feel, it encourages them to do the same. Sharing imposter feelings can help others in the same position feel less alone. By talking with them, you are helping to cultivate a work environment that helps all employees. 

2. Mentorship 

While there are clear benefits of having a mentor that can help you recognize irrational beliefs and provide feedback, by becoming a mentor, you are also helping yourself. Mentoring others can help you realize how far you've come and how much knowledge you have to impart. The best mentors are forthcoming about the struggles they've gone through, and you may find that by sharing your challenges, strategies and success stories, you are rebuilding the confidence in yourself and your achievements. 

3. Remember What You Do Well 

We all need a reminder of how awesome we are. Whether you just need a quick reminder, a full on case study, the best way to remember your “wins” is to have them written down. Track your successes. Capture the impact you’re making. Save the emails from bosses or clients that acknowledge your job well done. Write down the things you're truly good at. Keep adding to this list and keep revisiting this list as often as you need. Remember, big or small—you did this!

4. Change Your Thinking

An important part of overcoming imposter syndrome is to change our toxic perfectionist expectations by redefining success. Success is not perfection. Success is not having all the solutions, but rather the ability to find solutions. Not every failure leads to success, yet success is hardly possible without failure. The more we fail, the more likely we are to succeed. By removing the expectation to be “perfect”, we are stronger, more vulnerable, braver, and more open to the world around us. 

***For many people with imposter feelings, individual therapy can be extremely helpful. A therapist can give you personalized tools to help you break the cycle of imposter thinking.