Although I do love all of the heart-shaped candy this time of year, February 14th is just another day for my husband Noam and I. We try our hardest to make time for romance all year round and I believe this is what makes our relationship and family so strong. I know it’s hard to spice up your marriage when there’s so much going on with your children and work life, but keeping the spark alive is what makes life special and meaningful. So how do I juggle mommyhood, career life and an exciting marriage? Here are ten easy ways to keep that spark going, Valentine’s day or not.
1. Act like you’re still dating. Remember that jitter in your stomach you felt when you were first getting to know your husband? There was nothing better than those “just thinking of you” messages to keep the butterflies in your tummy and smile on your face. Send random texts and photos throughout the day that have nothing to do with scheduling, logistics, work stuff or the kids.
2. Pretend you’re still in high school. Noam and I actually first met in high school, and recreating those memories is so fun. I send him songs that remind me of the bands we used to listen to in the hallways, or try a date night reminiscent of your high school days like a movie and a sundae or a drive around town.
3. Miss each other. Last month Noam went on a solo trip to Miami with his boys, and a few weeks later I went to Cartagena with my girlfriends. Although we see each other every day, these breaks made me really miss him. Reuniting after our solo trips was romantic and exciting.
4. Don’t use holidays as an excuse to surprise. What’s a good surprise? An actual surprise! Birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day are all great times to treat your honey to a nice something, but what about when it’s completely unexpected? There is nothing sweeter than a completely surprising breakfast in bed on a random Sunday morning, or a bouquet of flowers just because.
5. Break out of the norm. It’s easy to fall into a regular trap for date night – go to the same restaurant, order the same food and wine, and then go home. Switching things up makes all the difference for Noam and I. We love trying new exotic places, enjoying cocktails and dishes we’ve never had before and experiencing a brand new environment together.
6. Compliments. It seems like a small thing, but the little comments Noam and I make about each other are so important to our relationship. Whether he’s complimenting my outfit or I’m giving love to his cooking abilities, we strive to make each other smile and feel good.
7. Teamwork makes the dream work. When it comes to the kids’ routine, we tackle things together which makes it more fun and easier. Instead of splitting up our parental duties when we are all at home, we handle situations together so I get to see what a rockstar dad he is and he gets to watch me do what I love – be a mom to my three amazing kids.
8. Love notes. Noam and I have been writing each other love notes since the early days of our relationship. I used to scribble something small and cute on a piece of paper and slip it into his jacket pocket for him to find later in his day. Now, we leave notes around the house or I’ll leave an exciting message for him before he heads out for work.
9. Surround yourself with other happy couples. Laughing and hanging with other like-minded married couples is so fun for us. Take a night off from the kids and get some cocktails with friends so you can relax with the ones you love.
10. Make each other a priority. Even though I have three kids and a busy schedule, Noam is never on my mind or pushed to the back burner. His needs are just as important and I know he feels the same way about me. There are little ways to check in and make sure your hubby feels appreciated – a simple “how are you” text, making their favorite dish for dinner or planning a day for just you and him are all easy things to do for a smile, and so so worth it.
What are some ways that you spice up your marriage to make your partner feel appreciated? We’d love to hear from you!
Photo credit: Lynn Abesera