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All moms lose their shit. Some moms may look like they have it all together, but trust us, they don’t. They just have better ways of hiding it.

You know who loses their shit a lot? Work-from-home moms.

Work-from-home moms are special because we inherit the task of navigating all the guilt of being a working mom plus all the frustration and exhaustion of being a stay-at-home mom – sweet combo, right?

Since we’ve been living (read: surviving) the work-from-home mom life for a few years now, we figured we should share some examples of the types of things we tell ourselves when we need to haul ourselves out of the abyss. Feel free to borrow them whenever you feel the mom-crazy coming on. And remember: when in doubt, just calm the fuck down.

Scenario One

The baby’s playing happily on her own (for the first time all day) so you’ve hopped onto Facebook to moderate comments and reply to messages on your business page. But your newsfeed sucked you in. A few scrolls later, there it is – An article about the dangers of “Distracted Parenting.” Panic and guilt set in immediately.

Stop. Remember. The kids are alright. Technology has given us the freedom to be able to chase our dreams and our kids simultaneously, but it takes time to figure out a balance that works for each of our unique work / life situations. If your offspring and your business are both in their infancy, don’t bother beating yourself up over replying to an urgent email or taking pressing phone call. This is the reality of business today and finding your balance, setting your limits takes trial and error and it takes time. Cut yourself a little slack.

 

And remember: when in doubt, just calm the fuck down.

Scenario Two

The combination of your ever-confrontational spawn and your ever-evolving business has you doubting your parental and entrepreneurial abilities AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.  You find yourself wondering when this shit is going to get easier.

Stop. Remember: It’s never going to get easier, but you’re getting better every day. Every day you understand the need for patience more deeply. Every day you become more efficient and every day you’re doing your very best for your crew. That shit ain’t easy, so be kind to yourself. Switch your goal from overall perfection to constant improvement and celebrate all the small wins. They’re proof that you’re moving in the right direction.

Scenario Three

The kids are in bed so you hop onto the ‘gram for some harmless after-hours scrolling; square after square, you start to compare yourself to other women, other entrepreneurs, other moms. Soon you find yourself wishing you had more followers / more likes / more experience / more cash-flow / more creativity. An existential crisis ensues.

Stop. Remember: Comparing yourself to others (in motherhood and in life) is a total waste of time. The only person you should be measuring your success against is YOU. Give yourself credit for what you’ve already accomplished (honestly, bravo) and keep your focus on yourself and your family going forward. As long as you’re constantly evolving both personally and professionally, your goals are not far out of reach.

Scenario Four

It’s been one of those days. Nothing is going right. The house looks like a bomb has been detonated in it, emails are piling up, and all you want to do is teleport into the future to a time where the kids are self-sufficient and you can actually hear your own thoughts.

Stop. Remember: The days are long but the years are short. It’s the most annoyingly true parenting cliché of all time. Whenever you feel like you want to press fast forward to your retirement plan, remind yourself of this mantra. Time feels like it’s moving at a glacial pace sometimes (especially when your child enters the “incessant whining” phase), but it does fly by, and these childhood years make up a tiny percentage of your kid’s life. Try to just breathe and take it all in. Building a career and a family simultaneously is insanity, but commit the happy little details to your memory bank ― you’ll be searching for them in there in the not-so-distant future.

 

HEYMAMA member Nikita Stanley is the co-founder of therebelmama.com and co-author of the bestselling book, The Rebel Mama’s Handbook for (Cool) Moms.

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