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Not only is heymama member Tinamarie Clark drop dead gorgeous, she’s about as real as they come. What struck us most when we first met Tinamarie, was her warmth, the thoughtful way she asks questions and how she truly wants to know what you have to say. It was no surprise to learn that she is currently training to be a life coach and has already built a successful clientele who she is helping to find their true potential. Tinamarie is one of those people that you can let your guard down with, curl up with a cup of tea and spend hours talking about everything from your kids, to your life’s passions to what your next binge-worthy series should be. She’s a girl’s girl and she is sharing her gift of intuition with those that are seeking. Read on to learn more about what a life coach really is and how you can use some of her techniques to stop being so darned perfect.

I’ve been a seeker since as far back as I can remember. A seeker of truth and knowledge with a ferocious curiosity about the human condition. It’s little surprise that I became a life coach and speaker. My focus as a life coach is to work with clients to gain clarity on goals and identify obstacles to success and pin point sabotaging behaviors in order to create an action plan to achieve desired results. Who wouldn’t want someone to help them create a roadmap to leading a more fulfilled life? For many however, they still have questions.

How is life coaching different than therapy?

The cornerstones of life coaching are what set coaching and therapy apart. Therapists interpret their client’s past for insight into the patient’s present behaviors, whereas life coaches simply identify and name current undesirable behaviors so the client can work to transform them. Therapists are often interested in the “why” and coaches guide you towards the “how.”

Who would benefit from life coaching?

Anyone that is ready for change! Someone who is willing and open to explore what is really going on in their internal and external world.

Reasons people seek a life coach?

Desiring clarity, feeling stuck, job transition, leadership coaching, personal development, accountability, frustration, divorce, relationships, money stress, fertility issues, juggling mommyhood, PPD and the list goes on.

After several dozen coaching sessions, there was a familiar/similar theme in my client’s stories. They had an aversion to vulnerability. In some areas of their lives, the reluctance to vulnerability caused them to feel stuck and unable to be seen. This was particularly fascinating to me because I thought I was alone in my struggle to show up fully in my own life.

When I was asked to write this article I was elated for the opportunity to share what lights me up the most…the human experience! After a few days of thinking about what I wanted to write, I felt some insecurities surface. As I observed my internal world, procrastinated and resisted, I gathered my thoughts and began writing. I looked internally and realized the very thing that inspires me most right now is my very own struggle. The struggle for perfectionism and ultimately remembering we are all human having a human experience.

Here are my top five favorite ways to combat Perfectionism:

1. Permissions slips.

A written note to yourself granting you permission for whatever it is that you need at the time. My permission slip would look something like this: I give myself permission to be seen today, to feed your son cake for breakfast, to mess up, and to be my silly self.

2. Owning your perceived flaws “Eminemstyle.”

If you haven’t seen or watched the movie 8 Mile drop everything and watch it now. During Eminem’s latest rap battle he uses his flaws as a form of strength, not weakness. Shame has an insidious way of convincing us to hide the parts of ourselves we’ve deemed unlovable and this scene depicts the alchemy that occurs when one owns their story.

3. Identify when and where in your life you’re fake it.

By faking it, I mean where are you not showing up fully as yourself and why? What is its purpose?

Adding consciousness to your choices often causes a reframe of the intention, being open and honest with yourself calls forth the wisdom inside you.  

4. Share your authentic story as often as you can.

You will truly be blown away with what inspiration, friendships, connections you can be made when you share your story. We are all seeking meaningful connections. Authenticity and vulnerability are the lens in which we can truly begin being seen. This one can be scary, but the reward outweighs the risk.

5. Remembering the struggle is part of the master plan and you’re exactly where you need to be.

No matter how it looks on the outside or how it feels on the inside, it’s happening for you to learn or relearn something you’ve forgotten along the way.

So when you feel the pangs of perfectionism creeping in, own it, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and let it pass through you!

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