MOTR: 7 Ways Motherhood Makes You A Stronger Professional
Financial Planner. Chef. Program Director. Head of Research and Development. Nurse. Strategist. Artist. Designer. Stylist. Events and Catering Executive. Master Negotiator. Educator. (Life) Coach. And so on, and so on. Separately, these are all professions in the everyday world. Combined, you’ll find them all in one of the most effective professions – being a mom. While we can take classes, read books, and listen to podcasts, there is nothing that fully prepares us for motherhood. From day one, we develop and hone our skills (24 hours a day/7 days a week, nonstop) that are unique to our personal circumstances. And whether we decide to return to the workforce sooner or later, we recognize that we are stronger professionals because we can put motherhood on the resume, not in spite of it.
Communication.
Communication may seem like a no brainer, but have you ever stopped to think how your communication style and techniques have evolved since you became a mother? And not just with your children, but think about how many more people you now communicate with because of your kids; school administrators and teachers, coaches, friends’ parents, doctors, other family members – not to mention, your partner or the parent of your child. Each person that you communicate with on a consistent basis has different communication styles and needs to be addressed. Additionally, you yourself may have changed your own communication style over time as your child has grown, and you have found the style that’s most effective to meet your needs and those around you. You may have started listening more, asking more questions, or developed a writing style that communicates simply but effectively due to time constraints. In a professional setting, communication is the most critical tool in the toolbox. To be good at doing something at work, but not being able to interact and communicate with those around you, is for nothing. Those that can communicate well AND recognize the communication needs of their colleagues and leaders are much more likely to find success in their job. It’s a good thing you are already rocking that mama!
Collaboration.
While sometimes it may feel like you’re on your own trying to will the day on course from wake-up to bedtime, we can take a step back and recognize that thankfully being a parent is not a one-(wo)man show. Between partners, care-takers, school administrators and other family members, there are a number of hands that play into raising kids. However, even that is not easy in itself. Your style of parenting may be different from those of the other parent or caretakers. Your priorities might not match up exactly with those of the teachers or partner. Similarly, in the office, your colleague may have a different viewpoint or strategy when it comes to a specific project. The great news is that with shared goals in mind — at home, the development and safety of the children – and at work, the successful completion of a project — everyone is motivated to work together. Collaboration is a critical skill in the workforce. Not only does it allow us to find ways to meet our needs but we also learn new skills and ideas from others. To work through challenges by working with those around us, we are better and stronger for it.
Creativity.
Is there anyone that can think more creatively (and without notice!) than a mom (with enough coffee!) that just found out that school is canceled and none of the toys, books, etc are adequate to fill the day? And yes, you still have that all-day Zoom meeting. Motherhood creativity is more than just creating another sensory box or repurposing a toilet paper roll, although both take quite a bit of creative juice. Creativity is also problem solving, often on-the -ly, out-of-the-box thinking, and courage to implement. Our drive to do and be better for our children opens our eyes to new possibilities, ideas and solutions. Think about the many products that have been created by mothers to make our lives easier, including these digital helpers created by our very own HeyMama members. At work, we can demand the same. We can offer a fresh perspective or a new approach. We can take the resources that are available and create something new. As long as we have that coffee.
Adaptability.
It starts with the moment we become pregnant. It’s not even a choice. Biologically, we as moms, have to adapt. Our bodies adapt and our minds follow. As moms we learn quickly that the only constant in our lives is change itself. No two days are the same. No two kids are the same. And we do what we always do, adapt. In fact, we do more than that. We become masters of change management. From phase to phase, we learn, prep, implement and have plans B, C, D and E ready to go. Newborn stage, sleep training, crib transitioning, potty training, school & sports schedules, adding a sibling, divorce, marriage, going back to work, etc. These are just the things we can plan for. Sick kiddos, losing a favorite toy, no-show babysitters and all the other things that we can’t plan for, but still adapt and navigate. So yeah, we can adapt. We aren’t phased. New boss? Sure. Last minute changes to the proposal? Okay. Flight canceled? Great, I can catch up on my book. New process? No problem, I have ideas on how to implement more efficiently.
Empathy.
Truth time. How many of us, pre-motherhood, have been on a plane praying to the flight gods that the open seat next to us will not be filled by the screaming toddler (and his mother) you saw at the gate having a full blown tantrum? And how many of us promised ourselves that we would never be that parent that gave our kid an ipad at a restaurant just to enjoy a moment of peace? If you haven’t done either, that’s fantastic, really. Next question: How about now? After having kids, do you now see the mom struggling with luggage and a toddler that is in bad need of a nap, and maybe offer to help with her bag or at the very least, offer a smile so she sees a friendly face? Now do you bring your own ipad out with you just in case you want to enjoy a few more minutes with your partner before bedtime? There is no doubt, motherhood changes us. It allows us to find our more empathic selves. Empathy refers to being able to understand another person’s feelings (but not necessarily sharing them). And in this new post-pandemic world, where we continue to see a mass exodus of women, especially moms, from the workforce, companies are in danger of losing critical minds if they do not find internal solutions. Many companies are now striving for a work environment that can thrive post-Covid: supporting family, work and personal needs. As moms and professionals we are able to lead by example, provide guidance and feedback and create the space where everyone (non-parents included) has the opportunity to thrive.
Building Trust.
They say that if your kid behaves really well for others but pushes your buttons or flat out screams in your face, that it’s a sign that you’ve created a space for them where they feel safe and trust you. Take it or leave it. Most of us would probably prefer to leave it. However, there’s something to be said that as parents we try to cultivate an environment for our kids where they can come to us and tell us their hopes and dreams, and even their fears. That takes trust. When they are young, it may seem easier. They are fed, cleaned, and carried. As they get older, we keep building that trust. We ask questions. We watch and listen. We trust our instincts and make decisions for the best interest of our children. Sometimes the decisions we make are not easy and sometimes they are not what our children want, but if we are doing it with them in mind and with a relationship based on trust, we persevere. The same goes for our work. We have to first trust our instincts and then cultivate professional relationships built on trust. All organizations and teams are susceptible to challenging times, but we can fall back on trust to navigate the hardest of situations.
Resilience.
Webster defines resilience as: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Which begs the question, is there a new “ultra”resilience word we should be using when it comes to parenting in the post-pandemic world? Before the pandemic, moms were already defining “resilience” in their day to day lives since motherhood is, afterall, an adjustment to change from the prenatal to postpartum. Physical changes to the emotional and psychological take place and there’s no going back. And then came Covid. We were forced to adjust: work from home, teach our kids at home, do all the home things (at home), and maybe (if we had a second) find some “self-care” at home. This may not have been easy, but we did it. And to some degree we continue to do it still. For better or worse, our resilience as mothers during these times has taken our planning, multitasking, organization, and adaptability skills set to new heights. And as the world returns to a new normal, we can now use this new “ultra” resilience super skill in our professional lives.
These 7 skills are just the tip of the iceberg. Your mom skills that you’ve cultivated make you an incredible candidate to pursue what you want in life. If that includes returning to work – trust us, they’d be lucky to have you.
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A Special Thanks to Our Partners Evereve, MullenLowe, Elvie & PowerToFly.